Why I'm Lucky

I am extremely blessed. I have a wonderful husband, two gorgeous, healthy children, an adorable house, a sweet pug and a job I love. I am saved by grace and a child of God.

But that's not why I say I'm lucky. I'm lucky because I didn't have to choose to bottle feed. Most of the women reading this blog will have chosen to bottle feed through one path or another. I didn't breastfeed because I couldn't breastfeed. And when I get those looks--you know the ones I am talking about--I can say, "I had a breast surgery and I cannot breastfeed," and happily go on feeding my baby her bottle. Both my doctor and my mother support my bottle feeding--in fact, they both thought I was crazy even to try to breastfeed my son. Not every girl here has is so lucky.

I by no means want to bash breastfeeding or women who breastfeed--but there are times that I think if I hear "breast milk is best" one more time I will scream. I read one article in a parenting magazine that suggested putting a warning label on formula--like they have on cigarettes and alcohol.

I don't want to widen the gap between the breastfeeders and the bottle feeders, but I do want to give bottle feeders a chance to have their voices unashamedly heard. It's a tough world out there for a bottle feeder. I've gotten nasty looks as I prepared my baby's formula in public. I've had conversions with tons of women who I know pity me and my inability to breastfeed. I've had to endure countless magazine article, latation consultants, well-meaning friends, and nosy strangers telling me about the wonders of breastfeeding. And I've heard "breast milk is best, but...." more times than I care to count. I don't know if breast milk is best or not because I haven't done the research--and I have $10 that says most of the people saying it to you haven't done it either.

What I want to do here is remove the "but" and the guilt. I bottle feed. Period. Not "I wanted to breastfeed but I had surgery." Not "I wanted to breastfeed but I adopted." Not "I wanted to breastfeed but I had a premie." Not "I wanted to breastffeed but I got an infection." No buts, no guilt.

I bottle feed. Period.

This is where we will vent. When someone says something to you that hurts your feelings, makes you feel guilty or just really cheeses you off, tell us about it. Please don't use any profanity or actual names--I'll take those comments off. Just refer to all women as "Betty."

There are countless books, websites and support groups for breastfeeders--it's time we had some support, too!