The Stigma

I met a guy the other day--no, not like that.

But I did meet a guy at a workshop for Science & Math teachers and after a few minutes of conversation we realized that we had babies about the same age--his was actually a little older. He asked the classic question, "Is you baby sleeping through the night?" I said yes and he seemed a little frustrated. Before I poured on him my infinite wealth of knowledge (ha ha) I asked how is baby was fed.

He hemhawed around a little (did I mention my mom was from southern Indiana?) and I thought to myself, "Oh, okay, the baby is breastfed and he's trying to figure out a way to say that without actually using the word "breast." I can understand that, I wouldn't want to say it to some girl I just met if I was him either." But he didn't. He almost seemed ashamed as he admitted that his baby was bottle fed.

Why the shame?? Why the guilt?? Why can't we just admit that it didn't work out for us?? In all honesty, this man was one of the most confident teachers I've ever met. He had a beautiful wife and adorable kids--why would such a great family be so embarrassed to admit that they bottle feed?? I'm just so tried of formula feeding being looked at as second best. Or worse-as failure.

Sidebar--did you know that after about 6 months of breastfeeding, most babies need an iron supplement?? Hmmm....

To quote the shopgirl from "You've Got Mail," I don't really want an answer. I'm just sending this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void.

Let me know what you're thinking.

Night Time Feedings Part Two

Now that my baby is 3 months old, one of the first question people ask me (after "How old is she?" and "Isn't she just the cutest baby ever??") is "Is she sleeping through the night?"

Yes. She is.

It's one of the big perks about formula--I mentioned in my last post that formula-fed babies typically sleep through the night at an earlier age than breastfed babies. Case and point--my 5 month old breastfed nephew isn't sleeping through the night, my 3 month old daughter is.

Some people will tell you, breastfed or bottle fed, that a great way to get your baby to sleep through the night is to fed her cereal. This is a great idea--once your baby is about 4 months old, and then ONLY with a bowl and spoon. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend feeding a baby of any age cereal through a bottle. This presents a potential choking hazard AND this way of feeding can increase the amount of food your baby is getting which an lead to excessive weight gain. Until your baby is ready to eat from a spoon, stick to formula or breast milk.

Once your baby is physically able to eat from a spoon, feeding her cereal around the time you eat dinner or a little later will help him or her feel fuller and, thus, sleep longer--maybe even through the night :)

Night Time Feedings Part One

One of the biggest shocks to my system when my first child was born was the fact that he had to be fed every 3 hours--all the time--even at night! Didn't he know I needed 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in order to function and meet all of HIS needs during the day?? He was a very inconsiderate baby :)

Peaceful night time feedings are all about--you guessed it--organization. As you know if you've been reading my blog for a while, I think that all feeding responsibilities need to fall to mom--even at night. It may be tempting to say, "Hey, Dad, I've dealt with this baby all day--you take the night shift," but I truly believe that for at least the first four weeks, all food needs to come from mom (even if it comes out of a bottle).

Night time feedings are a big perk for us bottle feeders--we should only have to do them for about 7 to 10 weeks. As was explained to me by an incredibly rude lactation consultant, one of the biggest downfalls of formula is that it stays in the baby's digestive system--specifically the intestines--longer, making the baby feel fuller longer, and allowing him to sleep longer. Why this is considered a "bad" thing still alludes me--sleep = good.

Try to think of night time feedings like going away for a short trip--you need to pack. Our babies sleep in our room. My dad thinks we're nuts, but I love having them close to me. More on co-sleeping later. Because my baby's already in the room where I sleep, I don't ever want to have to go into another room to get supplies in the middle of the night. I have all of my feeding supplies in my room and ready to go so that when the baby wakes up, I can stumble around, prepare the bottle, and feed the baby with minimal effort.

Traveling with Bottles

At first glance, traveling with bottles seems like a no brainer--bring the baby, the bottles and the formula, mix & serve. Unfortunately, it's not quite that easy, but with a little bit of organization, I found that traveling with bottles, whether it be to church on Sunday or away for the weekend is very simple. It's all about having the right equipment.

The first thing you need is this, the formula dispenser.

I got this one and another one just like it at Babies R Us when Bubby was a baby. I now use it for Miss Boo's bottles, and despite my mother's protests that I need a new one (in pink, of course), it still works fine. I like this one because in all the hundreds of times I've used it, it has never once opened in my diaper bag unexpectedly and ruined my day.

Speaking of not having your day ruined, this little baby is another secret to my success.

The disk goes between the bottle and the nipple, under the collar. It's job is to keep the water in the bottle, and it does a fantastic job. Occasionally, I forget to take the disk off when I mix the formula and poor Boo gets no nourishment for a few seconds, but she usually lives :) I also like to replace the disk after the ba-ba's gone so that the little formula dregs don't get all over the inside of the diaper bag. Seriously, this is a very important little piece of equipment. Fortunately, the Dr. Brown's company sells all of the bottle "parts" individually, so if you lose a piece, it's fairly easy and inexpensive to replace.

Feeding my babies room temperature bottles makes traveling easy because I never have to worry about warming bottles on the go. I've seen other mamas warming bottles using hot water in a restaurant or running the bottle under warm water in the restroom. Or if your mom's anything like my mom, just have her hold it in her hands for a few minutes and it will warm right up.

Having two formula dispensers enables me to have six doses of formula with me in a simple, compact way--you know me, I love efficiency :) Six doses usually lasts me for those long days, like Christmas or all day visits to great-grandparents. I also send six doses of formula to the caregiver's each day when I'm working. They've never used more than 3, but I like knowing that if something happened, they have a little extra. Just in case.

Another thing I always send to the caregiver's is this "food bag."

I send 6 bottles and the 2 formula dispensers, and any other food I want the kids to eat that day later (more on moving on to people food later). This is a little more to carry, but I've found that keeping all the food together makes it easy to pack, easy to clean up and easy to keep organized.

So, bottle feeding mamas out there, what are the secrets to your success when it comes to bottle feeding on the go? Leave some comments and let us know :)

What's the right temperature?

You've probably heard by now that you should never put your baby's bottles in the microwave, but here's a little secret you may not know:

You don't have to heat your baby's bottles at all.

Both of my babies have taken room-temperature bottles. You can read all about my storage methods here, and when it's time to eat, I just add the formula (more on that later), shake it up, and go.

Ba-bas and Colt's games--it doesn't get any better for father & son!!

If you're already heating your baby's bottles, you may be stuck because he may just flat-out refuse to take anything less than a toasty warm bottle. However, for all you mamas-to-be out there, I strongly recommend the room-temperature bottle. You're never at risk of burning your baby's mouth, the bottle is always at the right temperature, and let's face it, it's easier, faster and there's no second-guessing about the temperature of the bottle.

Side bar--I have a bottle warmer that I got as a shower gift a few years ago if anybody wants it :)

2 Beautiful Babies

One bottle fed, one breast fed.

Both happy.

Both healthy.

Both can be a little fussy at times :)

Can you tell the difference??


Okay, those of you who know me know that's Boo & Bones and Boo is obviously mine--but seriously--can you tell?

Preparation & storage

I'm a beacon of efficiency. I often tell people that if I hadn't become a teacher, I would have loved to have been an efficiency expert--you know, one of those people who goes into factories and other businesses and tells people how to do things in the most efficient way possible?? Doesn't that sound like fun? I'm all my girlfriend's favorite person to call when it's time to assemble wedding favors because I can figure out a way to get twice as much work done in half the time using the least amount of manpower.

So when it comes to bottle preparation and storage, my main goal, of course, was to be efficient. It all starts with the dishwasher.
It's the quickest way to get a large amount of dishes (and bottles) washed and I truly feel that it does a better job than I would do--especially on the vents and other tiny parts that come with my favorite bottles. I use the cages for all the parts, the vents go in with the silverware, and the bottles go along the left-hand side first, then wherever they will fit. I wasn't kidding about the efficiency thing, people--my husband says I could get a school bus in our dishwasher if I had to :)

Next comes storage--but really, before that, we have preparation.
That's me preparing bottles. I prepare all my bottles before I put them away--yes, even when all 18 bottles are in the dishwasher. It's far more efficient that way. I line them up on the counter like this. You'll notice that they're all facing the same way so that I can fill them up with my pitcher with ease. I don't expect many other people to take bottle preparation to this level, but this is what works for me.
You'll have to just ignore that bottle of pinot in the background--not EVERYTHING in my life revolves around my babies ;)
I fill up my bottles using the Britta pitcher that sits on my counter. Yes, I feed my beautiful, precious babies...............tap water. Filtered tap water, but I had a student a few years ago who did his Science Fair project on water purity and he says that the Britta filter doesn't change the water's purity level. I'll do a whole post on water later, but for now, suffice to say that we do use tap water to fill the baby's bottles.

Finally, it's time to put the bottles away.
I store them in the cabinet with the water in them and the vents already in place. The nipples and collars are already assembled and in a bowl next to the bottles. This way, I can quickly pull the vent out, put the formula in, screw the nipple on and we're ready to rock and roll.

Here's a close-up image and I turned the little bucket over so that you could see how I store my disks. The two little bottles in the back have already got their disk on and cap so that I can grab and them and throw them in the diaper bag when we are ready to go. More on travel later.

One last picture--this is my "big kid" side of the cabinet--I don't keep Bubby's big-boy cups in with Boo's bottles and I had to get rid of over half of the glasses that Matt and I use. Luckily, we wash dishes every other day, so we never run out of cups.

Again, I don't expect everyone to take it to this level. This is just what works for me and I thought I'd share it with you :)

How many bottles??

How many bottles do I need?

Well, how often do you want to run your dishwasher? :)

We started out with just a few bottles for Bubby, and they were all different shapes, sizes and types. Once we (I) had decided to only use the Dr. Brown's, we started collecting them and ended up with 18--14 large and 4 small. This is a number that works for us.

Bubbyabout a year ago. They grow so fast!

Once my babies are sleeping through the night, they take about 7 bottles a day--the 14 large bottles cover this nicely so that I can get away with running my dishwasher every other day instead of daily. I keep the other 4 small bottles ready and waiting for the diaper bag for when we are out of the house.

I'm not a real "germ-a-phobe," so I just throw all my bottles in the dishwasher--truthfully it gets the little thing that attaches the vent to the bottles cleaner than hand washing. My friend Carrie, God bless her, hand washed every bottle her daughter ever took--more on Carrie and her beautiful girl here--and that's great for her, but it didn't work for me. I could say that it was a time issue, but the truth is that I make a huge mess when I handwash anything and I think I was driving my husband crazy.

So, the number that works for us is 18--again, 14 large and 4 small. I like to use the large even when the babies are weensie because they are easier to hold--especially in the middle of the night when you are bleary-eyed and half asleep. We were blessed to receive many as gifts, because I know that bottles are expensive--but then again, so is dishwashing detergent :)

What kind of bottles?

My heart belongs to these bottles.

Okay, my heart belongs to God, Matt, Bubby & Boo (in that order), but these bottles are some of my favorite earthly possessions. So what are they?

Dr. Brown's bottles. I love them. I tried a couple of different brands with my son because I had heard that some babies will only take a certain kind of bottle. To combat that with my daughter, I brought Dr. Brown's bottles to the hospital. She's never taken anything else, and the only complaints I've ever gotten from her are that I don't make the ba-ba fast enough!!

Dr. Brown's bottles are manufactured by the Handi-Craft Corporation. You can read all about how they work here http://www.handi-craft.com/

I've read all about them and basically, that vent inside the bottle works to help keep the air out of the baby's tummy. Less air=less gas=less fussy baby. These bottles have 6 parts:

the bottle itself,

the vent, the thing the vent attaches to,

the nipple, the collar,

and the disk.

I'll talk more about cleaning and storing these bottles here.

FYI--I get no money from the Dr. Brown's company for endorsing these bottles. They're just amazing. Also, these bottles were purchased in 2007, before all this BPA Free nonsense, so you can't purchase these EXACT bottles anymore, but Dr. Brown's has a wide range of BPA Free and glass bottles to choose from. They are available at most drug stores, supercenters, and, of course, baby stores.

How much? How often?

Every baby is different.

Every mom is different.

Every doctor is different.

It's important that you, as the mom, work to combine your baby's needs and your doctor's recommendations into a consistent schedule for your baby. One of the best things about bottle feeding is that we know exactly how much our babies are eating each day. Your doctor will, no doubt, have an idea of about how much your baby should be eating--and that's the first place I'd ask.

My doctor is very conservative when it comes to feeding. He thinks that fat babies grow up into fat kids and that fat kids grow up into fat adults. I have to say that I tend to agree, and so NOT overfeeding my children has always been a priority for me.

But how do you avoid overfeeding?

Good question. If your babies are anything like my babies, not overfeeding is hard because every time you stick a bottle in the baby's mouth, it stops crying, eats, and goes to sleep for a little while. This basically means that your choices are a fussy, unhappy baby, or a sweet, sleeping baby. All I can tell you is that it's hard. I can't tell you how many times I heard "He needs a bottle" or "She's hungry" from someone who had no idea when the last time my child ate was or when he/she was due to eat again.

My best advice: Get your baby on a schedule. I feed mine every 3 hours and I try really hard not to feed in between feedings. Babies cry for reasons other than hunger--dirty diapers, itchy tags, being too hot, being too cold, wanting to be held, wanting to be put down...

One last thing--your baby should probably never consume more than 32 oz of formula a day. If your 3 month old is taking six 8 oz bottles day, that's probably too much. I wait to up my baby's formula intake until he/she has seemed hungrier than usual for a few days in a row--and only go up one ounce at a time. Again, talk to your doctor.

My Biggest Bottle Mistake

As you now know, I exclusively bottle fed my son and I am currently in the process of exclusively bottle feeding my daughter. I'd like to talk about the biggest mistake I made when my son was born, how I fixed this when my daughter was born, and the difference it has made.

That's a picture of my sister-in-law feeding my son...he's about 2 weeks old here.

Now you're probably saying to yourself, "No big deal." But it IS a big deal--it's a huge deal, and it was the biggest mistake I made with my son.

Don't get me wrong--I love my sister-in-law. She's a fantastic mother, sister-in-law, and wife to my brother. She's crazy about my kids and I'm nuts over my nephew. She always encouraged me to do what was best for myself and my children when it came to feeding...and she buys my kids the CUTEST clothes :)

My sister-in-law was not the problem--I was. I didn't know how incredibly important feeding was between a new mom and a new baby, and as a result, ANYONE who came into my house fed my son. People wanted to feed him, and not knowing how to say no, I miserably let them. I dreaded having people in my home because I felt like they were going to "take my baby away from me." I said that to myself countless times and I never knew why I was so insecure with my son.

It was because I was missing out on the bonding that comes from being the exclusive food source for my baby.

Bubby bonded with me...sort of. We joke now that I'm number one on Boo's list, but that Bubby never really had a list. It's funny, but it's true. Anyone who came, held him and fed him he was pretty okay with--I rarely remember him being handed back to me because he "wanted" me (this happens all the time now with my daughter). It's true that he and Boo are different kids, but I can't help but wonder how things would have been different if had not let so many different people feed him. I really feel like we missed out on some of the most important mother/child bonding and we're still making up for it.

With Boo I have been a big, fat jerk. Until she was well over a month old, no one fed her but me. Breastfeeding mothers will talk about the incredible bond they feel with their babies because they are the only one who can supply food for their babies--but here's the beauty of it--babies don't know this. As a bottle feeding mother, you can still be the only one who feeds your child. I now occasionally let other people feed her, but it's rare and she doesn't always let them.

Breastfeeding is such a private moment, and I encourage new moms to go off by yourself when you are in a crowd and feed your baby in a private, quiet room--just like a breastfeeding mom would. I also truly, truly believe that the mother should be the only one to feed the baby for at least four weeks. This is probably going to make people mad and upset your mother--but they will get over it. Just because it's POSSIBLE for other people to feed doesn't mean they SHOULD. Your baby won't know that anyone with two hands can stick a bottle in her mouth--and when she's hungry, she'll cry for her only food source: Mom.