Some thoughts

I basically gave up on this blog over the summer in favor of starting a twitter (follow me, carriedilley) and a tumblr. While I really like both of those, and facebook, my fear is that this post maybe a bit too long winded/whiny for either venue. So here we are.

Matt got fired. It wasn't as bad or as good as I had hoped--he was pretty miserable at his job but they waited until I was back in school to do it. Cut to me spending the entire summer alone, then the first month or so of school really alone. Not the greatest season of our lives.

But God is good. God is so good. Matt was recently asked to fill the position of program director and worship leader for the middle school and high school at North View Christian Life Church. As I'm sure you guessed by the fancy title, NVCLC is a mega-church. Or at least it is in Indiana. He's happy, he's thrilled, we're moving.

Okay, I don't know that we're moving. I don't even think I want to move. I love this house. I love a million things about this house, from the arches to the wood floors that we finished ourselves to our finished basement to the new AC/Furnance that we put in last month. The office, the play room, the living room without a TV in it....sigh. And it's more than the house. I love that we live close to a school so we can't have a sexual predator living anywhere near us. I like living near my parents. I love that we can walk to all of the following: the post office, Village Pantry, Marsh, Penn Station, McDonald's, White Castle, Burger King, CVS, The Willard, Imagination Station, Benjamin's, Kira's Cottage, the Art Craft, all of downtown Franklin and like 17 different parks. I love my hand-picked rocks that surround the place where the bushes used to be, the fire pit I dug myself for Matt for father's day last year, all the flowers I've planted, and our huge black driveway that the kids play on in the summer and which snow melts off easily in the winter. I love the cabinets that I painted, all the colors on all the walls, and the security system we had installed. I. Love. This. House.

See, that's the problem. I love this house. I've always wanted to live in a cool old house and I never thought that it would actually be possible. The thought it leaving it to go some place else is pretty terrifying. In fact, the reason we didn't buy a big, plastic box to begin with is that we wanted to skip that step all together and go right into our "forever home." And while I kind of know that we could, in theory, find another old house to pour ourselves into, I'm not very fond of the idea. When we bought this house we were young and stupid--an older, wiser Matt & Carrie might not be so quick to take on so many challenges.

To back up a bit, Matt's dream job is about an hour north of Franklin. Since leaving our original church, Franklin Christian Fellowship, on Mother's Day we've been hearing God's calling to the North Side of Indianapolis. Literally. Calling. Like on the phone. Back in like February, Micha from White River CC called Matt and asked him to back him up when he needed to be out of town. One thing lead to another and churches started calling. Eventually, Matt was hired by North View, but the process wasn't pretty. Our family has been making the trek to various north side churches leading worship, which has been really great for it's part. Luckily, our kids are young and still fairly portable. We've met the good, the bad and the ugly of nurseries along the way (you know who you are) and met some really great people.

As of right now, we are stretched between 3 communities: Shelbyville (where I work) Carmel (where Matt works) and Franklin (where we live). For most people, this wouldn't be a huge deal, but when you're a teacher and a church employee, there's a certain amount of "being involved with the community" that you can't achieve when you're trying to be in 3 places during one life. Which brings us back to moving. Which seems, at this point, inevitable.

I mean, I've been in church my whole life, and I always knew that God could, at any time, call me out of my "comfort zone." I just always figured it'd be to Guatemala, not Carmel, Indiana.

Not that I have anything against Carmel. When you're a "south-sider" (a term, I'm convinced, was coined by someone from the North Side--I never knew I was from the south side until someone from the North Side told me), the Carmel area is considered to be the wealthy part of the Indianapolis area. I just never would have guessed in a MILLION YEARS that Matt and I would have ever, ever considered moving any where near there.

So tonight, maybe because I had one of the worst migraines of my life, maybe because I'm sick of being in the car all the time, or maybe because I lost my mind for just a fraction of a second, I told Matt to try to find a town between Carmel and Shelbyville. Because I'm not convinced I'm ready to leave my school, and I'm not convinced this is the only house in the world that I could love, and I love my husband very, very much. Even though he snores.

We stepped out in faith and left the only church we've ever really known. We stepped out in faith and took a major pay-cut so that Matt could leave the corporate world (which he hated). I guess I just thought, we've come this far, we might as well go all the way.

And really, I'm not sure that Franklin is worth living in without Beth, anyway.